Eye Opener: On Keeping Your Mouth Shut

Earlier today, a friend told me that I'm too talkative. I was taken aback. I felt a pang in my heart, and I stopped talking 100 words per second.

Here's the thing, I am talkative especially when I feel too happy or giddy or when I'm comfortable with the people I'm with; OR when I am really, really, really nervous. So, when he said that, I have to stop my mouth from trying its best to catch up with my running thoughts and ask myself these questions:

1) Do other people think the same thing?
2) Are they also annoyed with my excessive talking?
3) Am I really that talkative that it's irritating?
4) What should I do now?
5) Should I turn into a plant now?

I was anxious. Very anxious. But I kept my cool and jokingly said that I accept his challenge. I stopped talking until we bid goodbye.

You see, talking is very important to me. Growing up, I was a very quiet cute little kid. I never talked that much. I wasn't hyper or noisy. I was too quiet that perhaps at one point my family thought I was deaf-mute. Maybe. I don't know when it happened but I suddenly turned into a cheerful, talkative girl. Maybe my young self realized the importance of talking and the next thing she knows she's an/a extemporaneous speaker/debater/Hermione Granger/most talkative person in the room who annoyed a bunch of her classmates and friends.

So, when a friend told me to shut up earlier, I guess I was reminded of that distant past where people liked me less simply because I talk too much. More importantly, it was an eye opener. His words made me realize that maybe it's time to go back to that very old version of me, that little girl who never uttered a word. Well, she's still around actually when I'm at home or in a crowd or with people I just met. I can be very, very, very quiet that you won't even feel my existence.

Lately, I've been thinking of isolating myself from the world. Maybe, my friend is right about me talking less. Maybe, it's about time to shut my mouth and let my writing do the talking. I don't know. Well, it can't be that bad. After all, "less words, less mistakes," they say. ;)

I also want to call myself, "Queen of Isolation." Who knows? Living a contemplative life may help me realize my full potential. :D

Let It Go by Idina Menzel from Disney's Frozen


AND to close this post, let me share with you a few words from Anna Peters:

Word Vomit: Catching Up

Six months and a million internal debates after, I finally found the time, courage, and will to update this blog. Although, I don't think it matters that much since nobody seems to be following this anyway. (LOL!) And it's totally fine! I'm already content having an online journal that I can peruse whenever the struggling writer in me says so.

I really want to say A LOT OF THINGS. But I don't know where to start. I don't even know what is worth sharing anymore. For the past months I've been on hiatus, I went through a great deal of challenges. There were days when all I wanted to do is give up. Give up on my dreams. Give up on people. Give up on myself. For the past six months, I think I cried more than I should have allowed myself to. It's tiring and annoying.

BUT I always try to rise, to keep going; for I know there will be better days. NO, I can always CHOOSE to make each of my days the best, as if it's my last. :)

To give you an idea of what I'm really trying to say, listen to these songs (Haha!):

Arms by Christina Perri


Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus


Say Something by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera


That is because I sing my feelings better than actually talking about them. ;)

Here's to hoping I'll be able to write more and more this year!

Note to Self: When to Hit the Heartbrakes?

Note: This has been sitting on my drafts folder for a month. I never really wanted to post this. But, I think it's about time. :) 

I've been crazy about Black Kids since I heard I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You on the radio while cruising the roads of Sta. Rosa, Laguna in a red pick-up truck. I fell in love with them even harder when I heard the rest of the songs from their album, Partie Traumatic.

One of the songs I've been obsessing lately is Hit the Heartbrakes. The song's really playful and full of fun and energy. But, listening to the song again lately made me realize that this song's pretty sugarcoated with brute.

I must repeat, I think you're sweet. But ain't no way that I'm gonna meet your mother, your father, your dog or your brother, your nephew and niece, girl. I just can't be bothered.

Sounds familiar? We all have that one person that we really like so so so much but the feeling is unfortunately not mutual. Snape has Lily, Eponine has Marius, etc. And, it sure freaking hurts like your heart has been ripped by Cora or Regina (from Once Upon a Time).

Yes, I've been there like a thousand times over or not. I've learned my lessons the hardest ways, and I'm definitely not going to back to that dark corner of unrequited lurve ever. LIKE EVER.

The only way to save yourself from the harsh consequences of rejection  is to hit the freaking heartbrakes when red flags have been raised right in front of you! But because sometimes we're stupid and crazy about this person, we forget that red is not just a color of love but also the color of danger. So, ladies and lords, quickly hit the heartbrakes when these happen to you:

1. Friendzoned - Does this even need explanation?! Gurl, if he's like saying that you're like his friend or little sister or what, obviously he's not just into you!

2. Push and pull - Why will you ever like someone who's so inconsistent? If the person you like makes a move then does not when you obviously like them, then maybe it's time for you to move to another person.

3. Forever ignored - DUH.

4. I like you but - BUTS. BUTS. BUTS. Okay, so the person of interest likes you BUT there is a BUT. The person you like is not ready or blah blah blah. Well, there's nothing wrong with waiting for that person and all, but what if it never happens, what will you do huh? Cry and pick up the broken pieces of your heart?

5. If he tells you to also date other people - Uhm. It obviously means that the person you like may not be so sure if you're the one. Maybe yous should listen to what he/she says, and look for another person to smother your love an affection with.

I believe that getting your heart broken is not anyone's fault. It's not your ex's or your lover's or your BFF's or whoever's fault. It is completely yours. Yeah, yeah, yeah feelings can never be planned or what. But, I think if people are only brave and smart enough to actually let go when the signs scream that you're already losing, then people won't have to deal with unrequited whatevs.

There's nothing wrong with looking for the silver lining in a situation; but, sometimes you just have to be brutal to yourself to save you at the end of the day.

Or you just can carry on with your life and pretend this post never existed. Go on, never hit the heartbrakes and you'll sure crash when the road ends.